The bastard's dillema

It is tiring to have an affair. There is the running around, the secrecy, the planned meetings called off at the last minute, the terror of an unanticipated phone call, etc. It's a damned mess. But a regular affair has at least one thing going for it, a certain consistency. Unfortunately, the mess of an affair is that they tend to be quite heart wrenching. There are feelings involved that make every move a sticky one.

Besides, I don't wish to play the game of emotional tug of war that is required to have a full blown affair. And so I am forced to find a series of encounters. These vary in their enjoyability, but mostly rate high. They're new, exciting and fun. In the last few weeks, I've had a few, and I've enjoyed every one. The annoyance, however, is that these games are mostly one shot affairs. On the good side, that's brilliant. On the downside is the problem of replication.

I enjoy the thrill of flirtation, the dirtiness of barely knowing a name, but I prefer, in the long wrong, the sex. Perhaps it is me. I do not tire of the same food and I likewise don't get bored of eating the same pussy. I would eat the one assigned to me (as if I were a child handed a bride--told here you go, don't screw it up) if only I had the opportunity. I am an obese man rationed to a few good meals a week. Some would say, a few good meals a week? We thrill at the opportunity. I, however, prefer a steady diet of thrice a day. I am no superman, I could not keep such a show up indefinately, but I am okay with a few weeks only eating 10-15 times. Is that so wrong?

Well, of course it is, I'm married and I don't get to play that game. Well, I'm not supposed to. So I continue my search for consistency without the emotional game. I prefer a woman with a mind, a conversation partner, a roll over and make a witty remark kind of a girl. The difficulty is in finding one that doesn't fall in love with you, begin feeling sorry for your wife, etc., etc. Discretion is a bitch.